Today is the first time we see our baby's heartbeat, its a tiny blip, a white flickering dot on the screen that look somewhat like a tiny bulb on a chrismas tree. Lita put on a smile. Its amazing to see our child progressing. I've read many a times about people saying how great and wonderful, but I just cant find the words to describe what I'm feeling inside of me. Its like watching a movie, but this movie happen to include me, my life, my future but not so of my passed. It is about how I would sculp my own future to dictate the future of my child.
We spoke to Doc about lita problem continous vomiting and she asked us to take the Veloxin tablet that she has prescripted 2 weeks ago, unfortunately Lita stopped the medication which do stop the vomiting but making her sleepy and blur the whole day.
Doc says well its a lose lose situation, if you dont take the pill and continue vomiting her body PH will turn acidic due to low in water, and she'll end up in the hospital taking drips. So she ordered her to take a urine test which the result will be out later in the evening. Told us to take care and we talked about the possiblity of caesarean blah blah blah paid and we left.
The journey home while waiting at the lights, I think I know what I'm feeling, parenting is about the next generation, its sole focus is on the times ahead. Having your own child is like completing the cycle of life, its an achievement that has absolutely no benchmark. You have your own unique mission in life to bring a child into the world and your child is your apprentice. Doesnt matter what I've achieve in the passed, nothing competes with the utmost important purpose that I was build and design for, well everyone do have a penis or a vaginal right? I tried running away from this responsibility all this while, not that I'm being irresponsible, just that I've watch too much news on TV and read too much news on the internet about our not so wonderful world.
Nervous, yes, will I face the challenge ahead, YES! I will standby him/her no matter what it brings, I think this is the journey that've been waiting, for the passed 37 years I've learn so much and experience so many, I finally understand the sole purposed of my learning, I'm unaware that I'm preparing to be a father, to passed down my knowledge and to take care of my family.
I know I'm proceeding to another phase in my life, and I thank god for what he had brought me so far, the blessing is not and never to be taken for granted.......
